This Is Mine

I've never really had anything that was mine, my own thing, just me.

I feel really blessed to feel blessed. Does that make sense? Hear me out.

At 24 years on this earth, some who know me personally would say I've been through hell and came out on the right end, and while I agree, I'm not going to pull the pity card out and wave it around like a white flag. I'll never. But I was very stubborn when I was little, isn't every teenage girl? A sassy little thing. I suppose that part hasn't changed. But I don't ever remember sitting down and feeling blessed. Truly blessed.

Now, I find myself doing that every once in awhile, just sitting and thinking "Holy sh*t." and being proud of myself as an adult for accomplishing the things I've accomplished. Thinking back at what I've been through and how I've grown and how different I am than I was even less than a year ago. I think everyone should do that once in awhile, it feels great.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.
— Mandy Hale

While this blog post has taken a very personal turn, I will return back to my original statement, 'I've never had anything that was mine.' I've never lived on my own, it was always with someone else or with my parents. While that's cool and all, I never felt responsible for anything. I was always basically taken care of and didn't have all of the responsibilities I should be having at my age. So, I followed my gut, got my own place, my own things, had my own bills and hit the ground running. 

It's been 9 months in my little loft. And I'm still just as proud as day one. 

This is mine.

I am fortunate enough to have a full time job working from home so I like it as cozy as possible so I can get work done but of course with the most personality that I can cram into 700 sq ft.

My point is, be grateful for what you have and make sure you stop and think about it once in awhile. Even if you're stuck in a rut, I guarantee you have something to be grateful for and something you've learned along the way. November seems to do this to me, how clichè right? Ew. 

But coming from a scared 18 year old girl who made poor decisions, got thrown around and had no idea what she was doing... to 6 years later, living on her own, having a well paid job and still finding time to be creative and do what she loves and find someone who loves her for who she is... F*ck, I couldn't ask for anything more. 

I am so thankful I might explode.