A quick pep talk: from me to you.. from you to you.. However you want to interoperate this. But this is important, so listen.
Key phrases. I've been told "You're stupid if you think THAT hurt your feelings. Calm down." I've been told "Oh my god, emotional abuse is not a thing, quit being a baby." I've been told "If you would clean more and listen better, I'll love you like I promised I would." I've been told "You're the one with the problems, why do I need to go to therapy with you?" I've been told "You're not supposed to go out with your friends alone when you're in a relationship, who's more important? Me or them?"
I've been told I was a shitty girlfriend because I burnt the brownies or didn't cook well. I've been told I was a slut because I had more friends who were guys than girls. I've been talked down to because I wasn't as experienced sexually as they were. I've been called a baby because my feelings were hurt by something. Anything. Does it matter? I've been told that I deserved to be abused because I was a bad friend. I've been called names, put down, locked outside of my own home, left on the side of the road, been told I wasn't good enough.
Please do not mistake this with love. This is not someone who loves you.
You are allowed to feel hurt. You are allowed to feel joy. More importantly, you are allowed to say no when you are uncomfortable. There is no right or wrong. You are allowed to walk away from something that is toxic to your mental health. You are allowed (and encouraged) to put yourself and your own happiness first, before anything else. You are not selfish for loving yourself more. You are allowed to have friends outside of your relationship. You are allowed to do things apart. You should! Nobody should ever talk down to you about anything. You are not lower than any other person. You don't owe anyone anything. If you get kicked down, you are allowed to be upset, but however long you lie in the dirt is completely up to you.
We all have experienced shit in our lives, we all have triggers, we all have pasts, we all have low points, high points and times in our lives when we feel fucking invincible or invisible. We all are only responsible for ourselves and our own actions. We cannot control what people say or do or think. More importantly, what people say or do or think does not define us. Standing up for yourself does not make you a bitch. Saying no does not make you a prude.
You are strong. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are nobody else but yourself and that's what makes you unique. You are strong for getting out of bed this morning. You are brave for doing things that scare you, no matter how big or small. Triumphs are triumphs. You are amazing for holding on when shit gets tough. You are enough and if someone ever makes you feel like you aren't these things - then that's on them. They have to live with that. That reflects on how they feel towards themselves, not you.
It's okay if you have a shitty day. We all have them. It's okay if you cried in your car after a really hard shift at work. It's okay if you'd rather stay in instead of going out on a Friday night. It's okay to voice your opinion if something hurt you. It's okay to be excited about stupid little shit like a package arriving in the mail because it's important to you - and you should be excited. It's okay to take a day off work to get some extra sleep or book yourself a massage. It's okay to walk away from someone or something that no longer helps you grow. It's fucking okay.
I am proud of you.
You should be proud of yourself too.
I want you to bookmark this, screen shot it, save it in your phone, whatever you have to do. Please read this whenever you feel low, whenever you don't feel good enough, whenever you feel like you must be destined for failure because nothing seems to be going your way, whenever you're sad, whenever you need a kick in the ass to keep going and whenever you feel alone.
You're never alone, it's ok to feel low but just don't stay there, you are good enough, failure only makes us stronger, and you can always count on me to kick you in the ass when you need it most.