How To Deal With Negative Messages

I've been wanting to do a post on this for awhile now and being only 5'5" I have a lot stored up inside me that I just need to unleash. So, I'm sorry? You're welcome? You can decide at the end. I'm just going to vomit what I've learned all over this site because it's mine, mwahaha. 

I get asked a lot about how I deal with negative messages/comments/people and it's time I just spill out a fair answer. There's only so many words you can say when responding to emails and Tumblr messages from your phone while you're out and about to really feel like you've comforted someone, but I always try my best. Dealing with negativity is more of an art form; something that takes time and you need to train your brain. No, I did not mean for that to come out like Dr. Seuss, this is awkward. Unfortunately negative people will always exist, there's nothing anyone can do about that. They are here to challenge us, people.

One thing I have learned in the social media world is that outwardly responding and publicly posting negative messages can be a good OR bad thing. It's all about selection. For example: Sometimes I will receive a "hate mail" message that is frankly too funny and too inaccurate not to post because let's be honest, ignorant people are hilarious, liiiike "You think you own the rights to having an undercut, you didn't invent it!" God damnit they obviously figured me out...  But if I receive a message that is literally straight up "You suck", "I don't like you", "I think you're fake", why on earth would I give you air time on MY blog? Nah, man. Delete. 

I feel like the people who shell out negative comments are 1) looking for attention, obviously not caring if it's positive OR negative and 2) are struggling with something that's deeper than they want to admit, whether it has to do with you personally or not. For whatever reason, putting someone down makes them feel better. Which I will never understand, but that's beside the point. 

It's all about how you respond, which more often than not means not responding at all. They want you to post these messages, they want to get a rise out of you and they like to see you squirm. If you don't respond, they have no fuel to their fire to send you another. That's just my logic. Especially if it's coming from someone who knows you personally because no matter how you respond, pleasant or not pleasant, they're clearly not in the right state of mind to accept anything you have to say with the right heart. You learn over time to pick and choose your battles, what to post and what not to post and what is considered constructive criticism and what is straight up "that sounds like a fucking personal problem, dude."

You were not put on this earth to please everybody. You cannot change how people feel about you but you do have total control on how you handle it and how you don't stoop to their level. People can poke the bear all they want but don't ever give them the satisfaction that they made any sort of impact on your life - they don't deserve it. You betta' than that, man. I think you're stellar. 

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.
— Dita Von Teese

With love,


P.S. Please send all hate mail to the following address (and write this out carefully):

666 What Am I Doing With My Life

I Should Re-Evaluate, CA 69420